After The Lightening, Before The Thunder
by FightingMyFate
Summary: Terrorized in his past, during the war, our mystery 1st Person describes his fear and torture during a Christmas party taken place a few years after the end of the wars.


After The Lightening, Before The Thunder  
  
Warnings: Character Bastardization, post-war era, yaoi, slight rape, graphic, disturbing, has absolutely NO point what-so-ever  
  
Pairings: 1+?, 2+?, 3+?, 4+? (pairs will be given in the end, so pay attention!!)  
  
Spoilers: None.muahahaha.  
  
Thanks: Thanks to my bestest best friend Ashley Kirk (pen name for FF.net: MCGurl33) for being the absolute MORON she is and boring me half to death so I could write this story.dunno where idea came from though, so just blame her.  
  
Notes: Bastardizing one of the Gundam Pilots was just waaaaay too tempting to write about, so bare with my sudden burst of inspiration and I'll start posting on 'Death And His Heart' again.  
  
Summary: Terrorized in his past, during the war, our mystery 1st Person describes his fear and torture during a Christmas party taken place a few years after the end of the wars.  
  
  
  
.......  
  
  
  
The way he walked was demoralizing, the way he gestured with his hands was mesmerizing, the way his laughter echoed throughout the room was captivating.the way he ignored me was heartbreaking. His innocence confused me sometimes, only to be declared a lie after that one night of passion. It was his mask to be so kind and giving, to seem to care about everything and everyone.  
  
It was all a lie, he was playing us all.  
  
I knew he felt that taking me was his biggest mistake, that giving in to my outward, diminutive attraction was his chief sin. And yet, he never depicted this in such a way, because that's where his mask came in.  
  
I will openly admit to being drawn to him by his fake identity, by his calm, soothing exterior, and to being frightened by his true self. He was particularly dominant inwardly, extremely demanding and intimidating. He was protected by a shield of gundanium, stronger then Heero's, and he didn't even have the history to back it up. I feared my sanity if I let this continue  
  
Taking a deep breath, I gathered my pride and strode towards my long time enemy and friend. I had to deal with this, the only way I knew how, so I could return to the someone who actually cared for me.  
  
It would be hard to begin such a dark conversation in an atmosphere like this, filled with lights, laughter, gifts and wine. A rather lofty Christmas tree stood in the corner of the hefty family room, reaching up to touch the studio ceiling and illuminate the room with its cheery glow. I felt kind of bad, I was going to be the one to ruin such a radiant, airy mood when I approached the young man who continued to ignore my presence.  
  
I was stopped along the way by a familiar Sally Po though, and once we had finished greeting and exchanging casualties and 'good lucks', the man I had pin-pointed was no where to be found. I cursed inwardly, and scanned the crowd casually. This would end tonight.  
  
Although not spotting my target, I did find a rather joyful Sable Bliss standing next to the bulky, flawlessly decorated tree, chatting away aimlessly with another proverbial Relena Peacecraft. Both women whom I had befriended throughout both wars. I sighed, I would not find the 'main event' any time soon unless he wanted to be found, so I made my way through the thick crowd towards the two old friends in order to alleviate my dreary mood.  
  
Sable had not waited until I got all the way across the room to pounce on me with a tight, friendly hug, Relena following behind her and bowing politely. The conversation remained on what the two had been up to since the end of the wars and the beginning of peace. Neither had seen each other since and both were just as happy to see me, as they were themselves and the rest of the pilots. I added comments every so often, looking around us in hopes of finding my main obligation, but always coming up empty handed.  
  
Dorothy Catalonia, who as soon as within range wrapped a protective arm within Relena's and united with the conversation with a genuine smile, something I'm not sure I'd ever seen on her previously, soon joined us. I grinned and greeted her, before excusing myself from the forthcoming chatter to get a drink. Thinking maybe the burn of alcohol would soothe my nervousness; I walked blindly towards the buffet table I had set up on the opposite side of the room from the tree. I was only distracted when I ran into another close friend. The man did not turn until I apologized, then graced me with a small, knowing smile before holding out a hand to shake. I was struck with awe when I recognized the usually stern expression now lit with eager re-acquaintance, the rough Asian voice optimistic and welcome.  
  
I stood straighter and smiled widely in spite of myself, studying WuFei as we once again became familiar with each other. He had cut his hair but not much, leaving it to flow loosely just under his ears, framing his older, more sharply angled face. His almond shaped eyes were softer, kinder, his entire expression set with unfamiliar affability as he spoke with an open tone. He introduced me to one of his guests, a small, petite man about our age with dark golden hair and gentle, quiet hazel eyes. Turns out the man was a business partner. He greeted with a soft 'hello' before WuFei turned back and asked if I had seen Sable. When I questioned why he was curious about the raven-haired woman he actually blushed, just the slight hint of pink forming across the bridge of his nose and cheeks but a blush none-the- less, and informed me of their upcoming wedding. I congratulated him with hearty laughter and a pat on the back, agreeing to attend the ceremony before excusing myself, to which he merely wandered off in the direction I pointed Sable out to be.  
  
The bar was just as comfortably occupied as the rest of my hard earned home, having attracted many of the patrons to grant themselves the pleasure of spiked eggnog and cookies so graciously donated to me from Hilde. I hadn't seen the young woman all night thus far besides when she first came over, an hour or so before the reunion had began to help me prepare, but I knew she had others to talk to and catch up with. I sighed slowly, and hung my head as I leant against a close wall, sipping generously at the eggnog I had poured into a plastic cup.  
  
My thoughts again returned to my plague, one that I wouldn't soon forget, and I trembled unnoticeably. Subconsciously I noted that I had downed my drink with the anxiety clutching tightly at my stomach, but didn't pay it much thought as a hand came to rest on my shoulder. I jumped slightly, turning to look at the person fully before relaxing somewhat at the familiar gaze of Heero Yuy. We shared the stare created between us for a few brief moments before my stoic visitor broke the private silence.  
  
"You're going to finish it tonight."  
  
It was more a statement than a question, hiding the edge of a demand within the quiet tone of his steady tenor. I finally tore my eyes from his, focusing on the far wall behind him and the people standing against it. I watched the small group talk for a few moments before nodding my answer and dropping my cup into a near by trashcan. He seemed pleased to some extent with my answer and left me to think and to search. He always seemed to know what to do; he always knew how to help. He always seemed to know when to just leave me alone. After living together for a good three or so years, our relationship had grown, we now might be considered a couple, but we've never had sex. We've made love, sure, but we've never had sex, and we never will. That's what I love about him, its not just a good fuck, because he would never give himself to someone or let someone else give themselves to him unless it was out of devotion to the relationship and the love that they feel for each other.  
  
I smirk fondly, reminiscing on everything that's happened between us since the beginning of the war, when I'm rudely awakened to reality when my greatest fear steps into view, grinning up at me like I was the most pathetic being in the world.  
  
His eyebrows dropped slightly, creating a menacing look that spoke in greater volumes than words ever could, and stepped closer. I felt my breathing grow irregular, but fought to control it, and took a step back, running into the wall I had been so contentedly confronted against moments before. He was trying to melt me again, trying to get into my mind and control my will.  
  
I swear I could hear him chuckle softly as he crossed the last small space between us, the jacket of his light blue suit barely touching the black fabric of mine.  
  
"You can't hide from me, not now, not ever."  
  
My breath caught in my throat, but my heart slowed its rapid pace when I felt the familiar burn of Heero's cobalt eyes focused on me, not showing any signs of ever moving. I could tell he was a great distance away, but not far enough to stop this if it got out of hand. The feeling I was vaguely safe strangely comforted me.  
  
"Y-you can't control me forever."  
  
He chuckled darkly, the usually jovial tenor that he carried lowering into a faintly sinister baritone. His pale, strong hands lifted until they were connected with my shoulders, and he pushed, pinning me effectively to the wall, pressing his body along mine.  
  
"I haven't forgotten about you, you know? I don't think I ever will. But, you seemed to have forgotten me, and all I've sacrificed for you."  
  
I swallowed the lump that had grown in my throat, not being able to bring myself to look away from his threatening glare and vice little smile. He knew he was slowly undoing my self-esteem, my mental stableness, and my heart. I loved Heero, he knew, and he was trying his damndest to change that, so that he could break me fully.  
  
"I have not, forgot.you assume."  
  
His smile suddenly disappeared and he scowled, eyes narrowing, glaring up at me.  
  
"Are you calling me a liar now?!"  
  
I grew suddenly frightened and disheveled, ragged breathing now becoming apparent, and my eyes widened. He seemed to take satisfaction in this, but still gripped my shoulders harder, more painful, bruising me, marking me in the only way he knows how.  
  
"Are you?" He all but growled, keeping his voice and façade low so that people wouldn't be drawn to watch this clandestine display.  
  
He suddenly seemed to notice the dilemma, and his expression lifted in a fake grin.  
  
"Lets take this somewhere, more private, shall we?"  
  
He let go of me, and walked away, expecting me to follow obediently. I didn't want to leave the protective watch of Heero, but I had to, and so, gave in. Glancing up briefly, apologetically, I found Heero, and noticed the warning he was sending me with his gaze. I couldn't afford to not listen to the man that haunted me, so I hung my head, hoping Heero would understand.  
  
The young man led me up my stairs, towards my room, but passed it, and locked us inside the guest room, closing the blinds on the large bay window and turning to face me. His wicked grin had long since disappeared as he stepped up towards me again, forcing me against the door and pinning me with his body once more. I whimpered and clenched my eyes shut tightly, fighting against the urge to moan as he rubbed our lower bodies together slowly.  
  
"Now how could you forget this, my little slut?"  
  
I turned my head to the side, holding out my tears long enough to bear this torture. I yelped and jumped when he leant in and bit my neck. The contact wasn't hard enough to draw blood but it hurt, and it would mark, like so many other things that I could expect to come out of this encounter.  
  
What he wanted was not revenge for manipulating him against my will, he wanted me to suffer. He knew I had not lured him into anything he didn't want; hell I was the only one, who didn't want to do anything in the first place, but he was mental, and so everything was backwards. He lied to himself, and he lied to others, how his current boyfriend could put up with this you couldn't pay me to know or guess, but at least he had someone. All that had me puzzled now was why he was doing this if he was already engaged to someone completely different. Did he want one last taste? Or did he plan to kill me like he had threatened the morning after our first and only (thus far) fuck?  
  
I remember that so clearly, but all common thoughts have been thrown from my consciousness due to the pressure in my groin.  
  
His breathing had sped up a notch, but just a little, nowhere near how fast mine was. His chafing grew quicker, and soon he started making the little noises that I had vowed to myself I would never live to hear again. But then, he stopped, and stepped away, yanking me away from the wall and throwing me to the floor in front of him.  
  
Without words he unzipped his trousers and forced his manhood down my throat, keeping a fist balled into my hair, twisting the locks from the roots and causing the final spilling of tears. I sobbed quietly around his cock but could do nothing more than as instructed, and sucked half- heartedly, already having lost the unwilled semi erection I had gotten from the friction.  
  
He didn't seem pleased, and pulled on my hair so hard I fell back to the floor, panting, face covered in unvoiced tears.  
  
"Stupid slut." he mumbled before settling over me with lightening speed the shorter man could only posses. I admit to being fast, but this guy was determined.  
  
I whimpered when he didn't move, just loomed over me, as immobile as a statue, dick still exposed.  
  
"Your worthless, you know that? You can't even fight back."  
  
The words hurt, but I refused to move, fearing my life if I dared. He slapped me, hard, for no reason, and I looked up at him with wide, terrified eyes.  
  
"Look at me when I'm speaking!"  
  
I nodded numbly and continued watching his every move, bottom lip vacillating to some extent. He snorted, disgusted, and took hold of the collar of my red silk shirt, the very same shirt Heero had bought for me the other day when he had actually agreed to go shopping with me for this party. I loved this shirt.but what I feared he would do happened, and he ripped it apart, the buttons flying in all directions, one arching up to hit just below my eye. I yelped in surprise and shock, looking down at my ruined shirt and suit jacket, then up to his menacing stare.  
  
"Still a scrawny little brat." he grumbled, reaching down and giving the same treatment to my black slacks.  
  
I was immobile with alarm. My favorite shirt, my favorite gift.I wanted to scream. But then I did, but not for release of rage, but from the sharp object penetrating the skin on the upper side of my thigh. He hadn't even bothered to take off the clothing.  
  
I looked down, eyes watering, continuing to make noises of concentrated pain as I thrashed. His free arm was pinning my upper body down so that I couldn't interfere, while he sat on my knees to keep them still. He was carving something into my skin. This was something so unexpected that I had not been prepared for it. I could handle the pain after a while and quieted down a notch. This displeased him, and he dug the switchblade a little further in than before. I screamed again, strangled by sobs.  
  
Then he stopped, and I looked down immediately at my bleeding leg shaking and whimpering. I didn't get a chance to read what he carved before he pushed me back and forced his lips onto mine. Not waiting for permission he bit down on my bottom lip, drawing blood then shoved his tongue into my mouth. I was tempted to bite the poignant muscle off, but was too afraid. I settled for thrashing weakly, although I knew I was much stronger.  
  
He enjoyed it when I fought back, but not enough to win. It made him feel superior.  
  
I cringed as his hand dove into my ruined pants, grabbing and squeezing my still flaccid member harshly. It felt like he might be trying to yank it off. I strangled a scream as he tugged on it, never softening his hold.  
  
"Still being insubordinate are we? Well, disobedience must be punished."  
  
Without waiting for my gargled plead to stop, my tormentor clenched his fist even harder. This time, I screamed, loud and long and clear. If anyone heard me, which they might have even over the cheery music coming from downstairs, they would have come running. I cursed the door for being locked, whether on its own automatic locking system, or from the man above me having pre-locked it before I got in the room.  
  
I twisted and thrashed harder, trying to get him to let go. It hurt so much; I thought I was going to explode with the hurt. But then he let go, and I let out a startled thank you sob, and was allowed to roll to my side and curl in on myself as he stood, buckling his pants and re-burrowing his erection. Once rearranged, he spit on my face.  
  
"You're not even worth it, but you'll forever be mine."  
  
And then he moved for the door, leaving me laying where I was, abused, bleeding and throbbing with pain in every nerve. That's when the door was thrown open, and two figures rushed in, knocking my nightmare to his rear as they did so. I looked up, teary eyed, and immediately noticed Heero. The other man was the evil bastards mate. Unable to balance my head off the ground any longer I let it fall and clutched myself together further, the pain increasing with each passing moment.  
  
The man looked up, startled and angered.  
  
"What the fuck do you think your doing?!"  
  
"Taking back what's not yours to distress any longer." Heero spat out, barely holding his tongue, as well as his fists. The other just stared down at the smaller man; standing and straightening himself back out. Whether it was a look of disgust I couldn't tell and I didn't care, because Heero had knelt and wrapped his strong arms around me, bringing me up to his chest as the other two glared each other down.  
  
Heero stood, me still cradled in his hold, and frowned at the both of them glowering at each other.  
  
"Get out of my house, now." He seethed, biting down what rage burned through his eyes, begging to be released.  
  
My tormentor turned and smirked my way, winking at me disgustingly before turning to walk out of the room. "Come, Trowa." He commanded softly, and the taller man obeyed to my greatest surprise. How could he just listen to him like that after what he had seen he had done to me?  
  
It didn't matter anymore, and I continued to cry into Heero's dark blue suit and pearl white shirt. He soothed me gently by stroking my hair as he carried me to our room. I noticed the lack of sound as we pass over the over-hang and looked to the floor beneath us to see that there were very few people left, two of which had just exited our presence.  
  
My nightmare sensed me above him, and turned to smile evilly before he continued to drag Trowa away from my home and away from life.hopefully.  
  
It was mere seconds before Heero set me down gently on our large, silk lined bed, brushing my bangs out of my face and smiling languidly down at me. He kissed my fore head as he began pushing away the remains of my pants to look at my wound from which the scare would never disappear.  
  
He leant down towards my ear before standing to examine the injury, and whispered, "I don't ever want to hear you scream like that, again."  
  
I shivered with the feeling of possessiveness and protection in Heero's voice, watching him slide the remainder of the pants off my legs charily. Blood had marred and dried around the wound, so that its severity could not be determined as of yet. Leaving my side with a soft kiss on the cheek Heero disappeared into the bathroom connecting with the bedroom, returning moments later with a washcloth and a water basin, as well as antibiotics and a syringe in case the bastard had injected me with something spilled on the knife he had used.  
  
After a few tender moments of cleaning, I sat upright with the strength to finally do so and gasped at the same time as Heero did, reaching a timid hand to touch the side of my left thigh.  
  
I traced what had been drawn and began to sob quietly once more. He was right I was his, and my thoughts were confirmed further as Heero wrapped me up within his grasp once more and began rocking me back and forth. He whispered words of support as I continued to stare at my marking over his embrace.  
  
I buried my face into his shoulder suddenly, and began my own inner mantra of a subconscious nature, trying hard to remember it was Heero who was holding me, Heero who was comforting me, Heero who was telling me how much he loved me and that everything would be fine. I believed him, and had to smile at the last comment I heard before falling to sleep, his hand running along my slightly cogitated braid,  
  
"'04's' my ass."  
  
......  
  
Owari  
  
Muahahahahahahaha.I'm sorry, but I just had to try the whole bastardized Quatre thing.sorry if yah didn't like it, but I honestly dunno where this came from! Like I said, blame Miss Kirk.  
  
Kitten: Reviews would be nice!  
  
WuFei: Chhyah, you would think.  
  
Kitten: *glares* 


End file.
